au revoir 2005

~ I supposed this will mark my last entry for this year of 2005 ... for reason beyond my own hands .. so i am wondering now what should i write to close yet another chapter of my blunt life .. at least tat's how i would describe it for the last 3 months or so .. hihihi .. it's been pretty quite around here tho .. my best guess is tat people are still celebrating or perhaps lying still on their beds, recovering from too much tequila n booze .. or simply hang overs .. LOL .. hey, tat would be nice, wouldnt it? some liquors n party all nite long .. gosh it's been a while since i had tat ... glorious moments indeed .. hahahaha .. but to be honest, i'm not much of a drinker myself i should say .. in fact i am very very bad when it comes to drinking .. hahahaha .. i could remember back then when i used to rush down to the bathroom with my face looking like a steamed lobster, rest myself on the toilet bowl and literally cracking myself out ... sighs .. after a few shots ... n i seriously mean a few! .. shame on me .. crap .. eniwei, been rewinding back my tots on this year's happenings .. overall, i think i spent 1/2 of it having so much fun n the other half having no fun at all ... HAH! yeah tat's rite .. well, maybe a lil' more on the so-much-fun here n there .. hihihi .. but not much ... dammit! ... then this question pops out in my head: Is there anything different i wish things would have been now? *btw is tat a properly structured question at all?!? neway who cares* ... certainly my life! and i guess it didnt take me long to figure tat one out .. hahahaha .. perhaps i can re-phrase the question .. so how about: If i am given a chance to go back in time and change certain things this year, what would i change? Hmmm ... tick tick tick tick .. still need some time .. tick tick tick tick .. still need some time ... Oh for everyone's sake, I DUNNO! .. so tat's it? is tat the best i can come up with?!? hell yeah .. well prolly i wish i would have paid more attention to those ASP.Net programmings while working on my final year project in school .. coz if i did, i prolly could have landed myself a better job ... sighs .. but other than tat, none .. maybe there are waaaaay too many things i need to change for the better back then .. so many tat i can't even come up with any at all .. *see how crappy i sound* .. but when i come to think of it, i really didnt get myself across many situations involving life-changing decisions let alone having to make any in the first place .. again, maybe i've turned myself into a lunatic by saying these things .. but this is for real man .. is this wat it feels to be in a mid-life crisis .. coz i aint living past mid-life yet! or have i? crap .. but this year is certainly a pivotal point of my life .. besides turning 21 .. hahahahhaa .. it's my first year ever living outta my own hard-earned money ... o yeah to your surprises this shit is for real hommies .. well, kids like me u see have been pampered long enuf by my parents since the day i was born .. everything i need was brought to the table and all i have to do is ask and i shall be given .. well, not everything .. hahahahhahaa .. coz sometimes they decide not to .. since we cant afford it .. LOL .. but i aint saying my parents are rich .. trust me, we are not .. we are kinda half way between the two polars of the human race ... the middle class .. hahahahahhaha ... so yeah, i wish i would have been more independent on my own .. and not being spoon-fed all the time like babies .. i dun even have my own savings or at least a piggy bank let alone a real bank account at the age of 20 .. shame on me again! .. hihihihi .. and this time it's BIG shame on me! ... hahaha .. but i am not blaming my parents for this .. i am sure they have their best intentions when it comes to parenting ... as any other parents ... and i should blame myself instead .. i should have take control of my own life earlier ... which i didn't .. and i kinda regret it now .. the bad news is tat i am still myself even this very second .. crap .. hahahhahahaha .. n i dun think i will change anytime soon ... *see this is the problem of all my problems i'm telling y'all .. the mother of all problems* ... LOL .. so now tat i am standing up on my own feet, i finally know how hard it is to earn a living in this vicious cycle of life .. everyday is work, work, and more work .. and wat's worst is when u dun like ur work .. hahahahaa .. hang on! tat's not it .. the worst thing is when u dun like ur job but u cant quit the job .. yeah tat's more like it now .. hahahahaha .. trust me, never ever get urself into this kind of shit EVER! u can end up like me here .. babbling about useless things and not doing anything about it .. hihihi .. to be honest, i think i am the kind of guy who waits for things to unfold by itself .. as pathetic as it sound, tat is me .. y'all like tat? better not .. and the weirdest part of it is tat i can feel comfortable living like this .. u know waiting n all .. waiting for miracles to happen ... hahhahhahahaa .. does it happen? well, i guess i'll let my life decide on tat .. just kiddin ... hihihi .. i aint gonna live forever .. which means i can only wait so long ... there will come a time when i will have to be a man ... *hahahaha this reminds me of russell peters .. be a man! LOL* .. and start acting like one .. tat's rite, i am waiting for the moment to arrive and strike back .. seize the moment coz sometimes u only have urself one chance to do it all .. as for rite now, i'll let myself be a boxer fighting in the ring with the best fighter of all time, time itself ... and u bet i dun look so good rite now .. coz wat i've been doing so far is taking in punches, punches, n more punches .. there are cuts n bruises all over me ... i tried to punch back but wat i get is more blows to my face .. everytime i try, i fail .. so i didn't fight back ... simply coz i can't .. but i am waiting ... hoping tat it will come .. and if it doesn't, then i'll die waiting ... coz tat's just plain me ... as simple as tat .. hihihihi ... at this stage of my life, i believe i am still a baby just beginning to walk ... i'll fall again n again n again .. making mistakes all over .. but hey, tat's how u learn to survive ... by making more mistakes .. ^^ .. WOW! look how much shit i wrote today man .. hahahahhahahaha .. holy crap .. hihihhi .. so much for a new year's resolution .. wakakakkakaa .. eniwei, tomorrow's back to work again .. and this weekend is new year's eve ... and let me just get this out early before i am gone, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 y'all! hope u guys have a blast wherever u are! and my message to you is Let's Boogie Down! yeeeehaaaaaaaaa .... woop woop ... let's start the count down people! hmmm .. 4 days x 24 hours x 60 minutes x 60 seconds = hmmmm ... 345600 seconds to go starting tonite as the clock strikes 12 midnight here in markham .. woooohoooooo .. have a great one everyone! this year's been an awesome year despite certain things .. LOL .. but we can't help it, can we? but let's start fresh with a clean slate next year shall we? see u guys soon ... if not next year .. wakakkkakakakkaa .. btw this song is for every single one of u out there .. let's dance! peace out .. take care and me out now ~ cheers

home alone ...

~ No white christmas this year in Toronto .. the rain apparently washes the snow away these couple adays .. hihihi .. so how's everybody feeling? hope things have been sailing smooth for u guys .. if it aint slick, then it's alrite .. no worries coz it's christmas .. wakakakaka .. just enjoy the season before u know it's over .. havent been writing much lately myself .. well, nothing's cooking around here .. u know me .. hahahahhaa .. friday nite i spent it on the teevee .. stayed up late til about 3.30 in the morning coz Home Alone 2 was rolling .. wakakakaka .. just for the record, i still think Home Alone 1&2 are the best christmas movies of all time .. hahahhahahahaa .. eniwei, here i am home alone on this marvellous day of the year .. watever .. Yesterday was christmas eve ... well, santa claus didnt make it to my chimney .. yet .. hihihi .. but i kinda lost faith in him since he never ever drops by on christmas .. or any other day for tat matter .. LOL .. well, maybe next time .. hahahahahaa .. but the good news is santa Hanz was there to substitute him .. wakakkakaka .. shenks for da comic strips dude .. if u managed to make it here .. LOL .. eniwei, my roommates and i had planned a lil hotpot/steamboat dinner last nite .. interestingly i tot we were going to have a lot of pork n beef ... but na dah .. surprisingly none of them turned up on the table ... instead it was mr. lamb who made it through the nite .. sighs .. quite disappointing ... but i'll have to deal with it ... lamb is better than no meat at all .. yaikzzzz .. neway we had 2 different kinds of soup, the red-firey szechuan style and the plain chicken stock soup .. obviously i am not a big fan of the spicy gourmet ... *so much for being an eligible indon dude* .. so my luck resides with the plain one .. or should i say the insipid one .. sighs .. it was literally tasteless just so u know ... hahahhahaha .. but i did try something new ... hihihi ... a raw egg .. Tiffany said it's really good .. n no body else dares to try it ... so i tot why not? n the next thing i know i drained my bowl and there u go, a raw egg down my throat n to my stomach .. wakakkakakakaka .. surprisingly it was ok .. in fact it's good .. hahahahaha .. but not too long after, someone said the magic word .. the avian flu virus spread ... DANG!@#$^& .. OMG! i forgot about it .. LOL .. heck, if i was going to die, at least i'll die happy, if not stupid ... content with the fact tat a raw egg is not tat bad ... wakakkakakakka .. *still stupid .. crap* .. after dinner, it's clean up time .. hihihi .. i bought a deck of playing cards the other day .. so the next thing i know, we were laughing our ass off n goofing around the table til about 2 am ... hahahahahhaha .. despite the age differences and backgrounds among us, we still had fun ... which is quite interesting ... hihihi .. plus sometimes we find it hard to understand each other due to the language barrier .. but it's all good yo .. after all, fun is a universal expression .. ^^ .. Merry Christmas n Happy Hanukkah to all u good good people ... me out now ~ cheers

a terrible loss ...

~ Great condolences to my friend, Honey, and her family for the loss of a beloved father and a wonderful husband figure .. I hope you can be strong during this rough time .. All my prayers are here to carry you through ... and may peace be with you ~ cheers

do i belong here .. u ask

~ Neh lagu buat yg lagi pada sedih ato hepi tapi patah hati ... wakakaka .. bingung2 lho .. LOL .. n please take comfort that i am not broken hearted n tat loe2 pada bakal better off pada akhirnya ... hahahahahahaha .. n dun forget the tissue papers eh .. u'll need tat .. woop woop .. joget joget joget .. yihaaaaa ... me out now ~ cheers

just for my mom

MOTHER
By Unknown Author

I appreciate the many prayers
you've whispered during
the worst moments in my life,
and the many hopes for my success
in all that I dreamed of.

I appreciate the kind wishes
that would make me so happy and fulfilled,
and the gentle words of encouragement
that were meant to strengthen my quests.

I appreciate the moments of sorrow
you experienced during my failures,
and the little gestures of kindness
that always made me feel better.

I appreciate your acceptance,
your ability to understand,
and the sincere friendship
that always gave me such security.

I appreciate the wisdom
of all the lessons you taught,
and the meaning behind the words
"unconditional love."

I appreciate all you've done -
every word and gesture.
I know you've been the best there is -
a mother beyond all compare.

For all you've done ...
Thank you, Mom.
For all that you are ...
I love you.


Today Indonesia celebrates Mother's Day
So here's to my mother and all the wonderful mothers around the globe

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

A hero, a warrior, and an angel all in one

~ This song is dedicated to my mom ~

grateful

"People have said time and again that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But what they will probably never understand is how I'll always be a winner for having loved you." -- someone

~ Buset .. romanticnyeeeee .. wakakakakaka .. gw aje lumer .. LOL ~ cheers

tribute to da kings

# Happy 22ND Birthday to Cheristian aka Mr. C aka The Boss aka Samseng #
&
~ Happy Birthday to Ngin Kar ~

---
@ 648 Rosedale Avenue : Windsor, Canada
After our 2004 birthday dinner at Dynasty, it's cut-the-cake time .. WOOP WOOP
Btw this is Mr. C people ... hihihi
---

~ Have a great one guys! Hope all ur wishes come true ^^ .. Happy Birthday ~ cheers

da chock full of choc box

Heppi BIG FAT 23RD Birthday
2
Karel aka Sedot aka Kambing

May all ur wishes come true bro
&
Wish u all da best in ur future

---
@ Sri Utama Boarding Home : Malaysia
Semesters end when no more laundry pick-up comes around; but we say we do it our way .. hihihi
Who Say We Ain't Geniuses Huh?
---
PS : Sori, but it's the best i can find .. LOL

~ Aloha hommies ... it's been a while since i wrote anything of my own over here .. hihihi .. haven't been quite myself to be honest in these few days .. as usual, another surge of tidal waves came crushing down on my door this week .. sighs .. nevertheless, i am still hanging on .. pheeeww .. Yesterday was wonderful actually ... hihihi .. besides the lil' argument i had wif si apple gal .. but we sorted it out in no time .. wakakkakaka .. ^^ ... heavy snow storm was whirling across the GTA tat day .. i could still remember standing below a street lamp where i usually waited for my bus home on east beaver creek .. i can't quite believe tat it was literally pouring .. hahahhaha .. and the mere idea of a white christmas is still kinda exotic and surreal to myself, given my circumstances of having been exposed to this kind of conditions for almost 3 years now ... i mean, i come from a city where extreme heat and air-conditioners are prolly the two things u should get familiar with in case u are thinking for a ride .. hahaha ... but then, here i am .. i've been blessed to have had this experience of being part of a culture and an environment in a country of 4 seasons .. where u can have the taste of 4 altogether in one ... hihihihi .. winter, for one, represents warmth n love .. it's a season where families reunite and rejoice and exchange christmas presents .. LOL ... as for spring, it resembles the season of rebirth .. it's a time when all this ice melts and nature once again revive, bringing upon us a new force of life ... Summer definitely means fun with da sun ... everybody's jolly when the temperature begins to rise and it certainly is a perfect time for outdoor sports and leisure ... it's the season for t-shirts and short pants ... and not to forget, my comfy sandals .. hihihi .. And to bring everything back to full circle comes autumn, the season of colours ... it's absolutely gorgeous n stunning to see all the trees turn red, orange, yellow, or even purple .. hahahahhaha .. and once the leaves begin to fall, i'll find myself gasping at a sea of random wonders, if not colours .. hehehehhe .. if asked which of the 4 i love the most, i would have to say none of them really represents me ... without the company of my friends/families and the love of God ... afterall it's not the season tat makes it worth all my while, it's the people i spent it with ... ^^ .. and this reminds me of how much i have lost and sacrificed to gain wat i have now ... the truth is i miss my loved ones and i wish i could spend more time with them by their sides .. especially in this time of year .. sighs ... and i regret this forever more ........ Thank you CookieGal .. this one is for u .. me out now ~ cheers

here it comes ...

^ Heppi 22ND Burpday to Andi aka The Beatles Boy ^

---
@ The Osgoode Hall, Downtown Toronto : May 2005
Spent the day walking n camming with this handsum dude n the gank (invisible)
---

~ Wishing u the very very very best of life n May all ur wishes come true a'ite .. hehehe ~ cheers

cursed ...

~ Am i being tested? Why does it have to happen rite on this bloody friggin' day?!? Feel like smashing my head onto the walls .... n let me bleed to death ... Am i out of line?!? Damn rite i am! coz i am cursed ... so bad tat they even have to ruin today for me ... and after all, today's no big deal at all ... thanx alot for the surprise ..... FUCK ~

les 13-decembros

@ Heppi 23RD B'day to Brian aka Pooch aka Sin Can @
&
% Heppi 21ST B'day to Inoedoshi aka Kutub aka Babi aka MeSelf %

---
@ The Rogers Centre : Toronto Blue Jays VS. New York Yankees
The Jays won the game but lost the series
---

~ We came, We soared, but We have yet to conquer .. wakakaka .. Cheers people ~

21 bubbles .. YAY!

~ Lots of wishes for Anita aka Ms. Bubble on her 21st birthday .. May all ur dreams come true and all the best in ur future ... ^^ .. HAPPY BIG FAT BIRTHDAY DUDE! ... HAVE A BLAST IN JKT .. peace out ... me out now ~ cheers

anger management needed ...

~ Sitting here on my bed with my guitar ... i wish i can talk with him .... n share the things i wish i can share with myself .. just a thought .. hihihi .. the truth is i have so many things in my head these couple days ... it's been rough lately and especially this week ... prolly u guys figured it out since "tat" post .. hahahhaha .. been seeking peace from wat i call "the bus therapy" ... and i think it's working somehow .. i feel like i can release all these burdens in the bus .. if it ever makes sense to u guys ... sitting there with my pal, the cd walkman ... hahahhaa .. listening to some music ... or perhaps reading the news ... well, not exactly ... i mean i hardly read the news .. instead i spent my time on the horoscopes, the weather outlook, the big headline aka the frontpage, some interesting columns, and last but not least, the celebrity gossips ... wakakakakkakakka .. they're pretty much my morning breakfast since i began my job .. eniwei back to the therapy .. u can find my different kinds of people aboard ... and they are pretty much random every single day, except for one or two regular-ees like myself .. hahaha .. but tat makes it fun .. it's like meeting new strangers everyday, who i think live a life not tat distinguished from mine ... and u can sort of categorize these people into distinctive clusters like the troubled ones, the desperate ones, the i-can't-make-the-date-line ones, the i-love-my-job ones (rarely), the wat-am-i-doing-here ones, the it's-just-another-day ones, the am-i-on-the-rite-bus ones .. and finally the i-hate-my-boss ones, which i think i am a big fan of .. hahahhahaa .. not surprisingly these clusters have a somewhat negative genre ... well, blame the working world for being such a pain in the ass .. and blame the writer of this script for being so negative about his life and for being such a loser ..... sighs .. but let's not sway from the original topic here .. i can seriously whine about my pathetic life n me for all i know .. but i'll spare u the torture .. maybe next time ... wakakkakakakka .. i mean seriously! .. hahahahaha .. eniwei, seeing these people allows me to reflect upon my past actions or ponder upon my life situations .. and as strange as it may sound, it kinda provides me with some sort of emotional/psychological state of peacefulness ... perhaps it's the long journey from/to home .. but i'm not really sure ... i guess knowing tat i am not alone having this dilemma and tat there are others out there still like u is one heck of a remedy for my soul .. at least it keeps me subtle and away from having my worst nightmares or creating them myself as far as these nightmares are concerned ... hihihi .. plus the long walk home out in the vicious evening blizzard gives me a spiritual inner strength and hope tat i can still and will be here tomorrow and the next and the next and the next ..... as i said to myself, bad things may come and go, but i am still here for more ....... and i dont intend to run, but rather to stay ... and tat's how i think i've managed to survive this far in this impetuous journey of mine ......... me out now ~ cheers

hepi birthday cousin

~ Hereby wishing my cousin, WAWAN, a happy 21st birthday in Singapore .. ^^ .. may all ur wishes come true and all the best in your future! ... which i am sure is a bright one .. keep up the good work yach .. hihihi .. yeah yeah yeah .. me out now ~ cheers

HIP HIP HOOHAAHH .. HIP HIP HOOHAAHH

P.S. It's just the beginning of the b'day wishing chores .. wakakkakakakkaka .. peace out

disturbed ...

~ Feeling very very very very very HATEFUL since 3pm today ... i am definitely disturbed .. n i can really use somebody or something as a punching bag rite here rite now .. seriously ..... so piss off .. me out now ~ cheers

ketika ...

~ Baru aja nonton Arisan ... gw salut bener dech ma yg ini .. perfect abiz neh pelem ... ckckckck ... gk abis pikir gw .. pokoke perfect dech ... castingnye jg ok ok .. gk heran anak2 pada bilang bagus .. bahkan lebih bagus dr yg gw expect ... gw mesti jujur soalnya gw judge the book by the cover tentang ne pelem .. masih inget gw, waktu pertama kali liat ni pelem nongol di bioskop2 .. "Yah elah, ginian lagi ginian lagi .. basi dach" ... dan skrg gw arus telen ludah gw sendiri ... wakakkakkaka .. after all, gk ada yg perfect di idup ini .. n menurut gw, ini salah satu tema yg selalu dipamerkan dari berbagai macam pelem .. termasuk Arisan ini sendiri .. hihihii ... si mei2 di pelem ini ngingetin gw ma Ce Chenny banget .. rada mirip jg kayanya .. wakakakakkaa .. trus gw suka shot2 waktu mereka di kantor polisi ... gw selama ini gk pernah man yg namanya masuk kantor polda .. gilak .. keadaannya memank separah yg gw gk bs bayangin .. LOL .. dari perkosaan, narkoba sampe maling ayam tetangga jg ada kali .. lengkap de koleksinya ... hahahhahahaha ... tp justru itu yg menarik .. dr sini gw bs mikir berapa besar dari kehidupan kita ini sebenarnya berada dalam kendali kita sendiri .. mrk bilang masa depan kita semua tergantung pada diri kita sendiri .. tp apakah benar sebesar itu peran kita dalam perjalanan kita masing2? masalah bergilir dari satu sisi ke sisi yg laen, dari satu pihak ke pihak yg lain tanpa kita sadari .. kadang gw suka ngayal sendiri .. kalo misalnya gw gk d sini skrg, kira2 gw bakal ada di mana yah? gw bakal gmana dan segala macem dech ... wakkakaka .. emank kalo orang rada gelo kayak gw, suka mikir yg macem2 .. sampe2 makan malem aje lupa .. wakakkaka .. mungkin semua cerita kita uda ditentuin dengan berbagai macam akhir yg berbeda2 ... dan yg harus kita lakukan hanyalah memilih .. pilihan yg satu tentunya akan mengantar kita ke persinggahan yg berbeda dengan jika kita memilih yg lain .. sama seperti sebuah permainan catur ... dan demikian jg faktor keberuntungan ikut berperan dalam kehidupan ini .. dan gw percaya bener sama yg satu ini .. hihihi ... semua tergantung hoki ... gw jadi inget ma artikel d kompas.com di mana orang2 indo berbagi cerita2 mereka yg sedang merantau d negeri asing seperti diriku ini .. banyak dari mrk yg sukses dan berhasil .. dan tidak sedikit orang yg terpicu nalurinya untuk berjuang demi merasakan kepuasan yg sama ... walau demikian, tidak sedikit jg dr mrk yg kurang berhasil merasa iri dan sirik ... ada satu artikel dari jepang, if i can remember correctly .. dimana dia bercerita tentang keadaan orang2 indo di sana .. dan menurut dia, tidak semua orang bs sukses hanya dengan kerja keras dan tekun ... ada orang yg tiap hari membanting tulang hanya untuk sesuap nasi .. dan tidak peduli bagaimana kerasnya dan tekunnya dia bekerja, dia ngak pernah sukses .. gw jg gk kebayang gmana rasanya terpuruk dalam keadaan kayak gitu ... harapan pupus dan kekecewaan menimbun .. sebaliknya banyak jg orang kayak Paris Hilton yg gk pernah pusink dan kekurangan soal materi ... dan lebih enaknya lagi, gk usah susah2 bekerja untuk mendapatkan semua kelimpahan itu .. oh betapa ironisnya dunia ini .. hihihi ... dan semua ini kembali pada keberuntungan kita masing2 ... akan tetapi, pemikiran seperti ini naif juga man ... kalo emank bener begini, yah uda lah .. kita santei2 aja .. toh semua tergantung nasib .. wakakakakkaka .. lucu kan .. sampe sekarang gw jg gk tau mesti berpedoman di sisi yang mana ... tp yang gw tau, jgn pernah menyerah pada nasib dan pada diri kita sendiri .. tetaplah berusaha dan tetaplah berjuang walaupun semua hanya untuk sesuap nasi .. dan jangan pernah merasa iri akan kelimpahan orang lain .. karena gw yakin setiap orang memiliki kelebihannya masing2 .. sekecil apapun itu tp asal kita bahagia, itu sudah cukup ... dan semua tidak perlu dinilai dari segi materi ... seperti contohnya sebuah persahabatan dan sebuah keluarga cemara .......... Dedicated to my family, my cookieapplegal, and all my friends: i love u guys .. sekarang dan selamanya .. me out now ~ cheers

at the crack of dawn

~ This week's been pretty random .. *THANK GOD!* .. kinda need tat break outta my way-too-static life motions .... like now, i am supposed to be in bed .. but then i wouldnt wanna miss out on my first friday nite in december .. wakakkakakkaa ... eniwei, speaking of early december, this weekend happens to be a very sad time, if not otherwise, for my close buddy Pooch who is leaving Canada for good to head back to Singapore ... yeah, tat's rite .. everybody's going Singapore .. sooner or later, we'll all be Mr. & Mrs. Kiasu .. wakakakkakakka .. i feel very happy for him tat things have finally settled down in the nick of time .. i'm sure he is too .. isn't tat rite bro? wakakakkakaa .. well, the good news is tat u still have less than 72 hours to knock urself out .. i wish i could be there to knock u out myself ... but i can't ... sob sob sob .. but i am sure u'll have a blast with the gank .. wooohoooooo .. ~

~ i've been thinking alot lately .. about stuff ... especially my work .. i've been working for almost 6 months already ... n i feel like i know alot better than when i first started out fresh .. i mean it was like "Dude, what the heck am i supposed to do here? Click this .. and then what?" ... but hey, there's always a first time for everything in life .. and so as this one ... eniwei, i am actually kinda happy with the job ... especially when i am in the mood for some serious damages .. wakakaka .. it just gives me tat i-want-more kinda feeling .. n it somehow resurrects myself from the dead, if u will ... LOL .. it makes me feel somehow content when i know what the hell i am doing ... i can still remember how i wished tat i'd never finished a project so tat i wouldnt be assigned a new one .. wakakakkaka .. the frustration tends to pile up and makes u do stupid things like this .. but now, the current kinda drifts in the other direction ... in fact, i beg for new projects as soon as i finished one ... simply bcoz i hate opening up old projects to fix bugs and some other crap .. however, i wouldnt say i want to stick to this job in the long term tho .. i guess it's more like a stepping stone .. u know, something temporary ... neway, enuf about the job itself .. what gets me really ticked off at times is the company tat i work for ... i dun even know whether it deserves to be a company in the first place when there are only 2 friggin' people working full time .. sighs .. n i wouldnt consider myself a full time either .. at least from my point of view .. first of all, i was never given a key to the front door up to this very second i'm writing this up .. they said tat i will be handed a key after i completed my probation time, which ended 2 months ago ... as a result, i am asked to skip work whenever my friend/manager wont be able to make it the next day .. like wat happened last friday .. plus i am only paid for the hours tat i put in .. no work = no pay .... even though it wasnt my fault, if i may put it this way ... in addition, i would have to stand outside the office if he arrived later than me, which is usually the case btw .. imagine waiting in this winter weather .. i mean, the person who holds the key should be the first person arriving at the office .. tat's just common sense .. *yeah rite, like i can stuff this into his brain* ... sighs .. but luckily, he's been turning up earlier than usual ... so it's good ... phew .. Next is the smoking problem .. man, i wish i could take tat cigarette n shove it up his ass .. ARGHHH!!! ... to be honest, i am pretty sensitive to smoke ... and i managed to confront him about his inconsiderate habit last month or so .. i sincerely told him to take his smoke outside the office .. n he agreed to tat .. i mean it's not like he doesnt know tat i dont smoke .. GOD! some people are just unbelievable ... when things are beginning to turn in my favor, it doesnt usually last long .. at least in my case .. since it began to snow around here, he's been taking his "break" back into the office .. and now, there are TWO people ... apparently he's been taking his galfriend to the office for i dont know watever reason ... i am not even sure if she's supposed to be there since she's not even working there .. i mean, can u keep this professional?!? .... sighs ... would u like it if i bring my galfriend in? i dun think so ..... so there u go ... crap ... wat should i do now? bring this up to the company owner? .. too bad the chances are tat he wouldnt even give it a damn .... simply bcoz he doesnt like me ... u can count on this .. n i am not making this up .. i dun need to explain ... but u know when someone doesnt like u around .. but i always try to be nice to him anyway .. coz i need this job ... as simple as tat .. n everything comes down to tat .. i could be yapping about all the complaints for all i care .. n it still wouldnt make a f***ing difference ... so just have to swallow it hard ... sighs ... after all, i am still laughing here .. wakakakakkakakka ... despite the things i talked about, i am still hoping for the best to come yet .. as always .. never lose hope .. ^^ .. hihihi .. alritey then .. u peeps have a good one yach .. btw, i havent received my pay-cheque yet and wont be getting one til about end of next week .. it's always like this ... late payments .. sighs .. me out now ~ cheers

"I don't fear death .. for death is only a state of transition .. but living without hope .. now, that's what i call a living hell"

start to end / end to start

~ Yelloww mellow people ... reporting from the heart of my cozy room .. ouchhh! my arse is kinda numb these days .. spent too much time on these bloody chairs .. work see chair, home see chair, eat see chair, blog see chair .. n tat's pretty much wat i've got around here .. LOL .. eniwei, just wanna get this straight out in the open ... WELCOME TO DECEMBER-LAND everyone .. wakkakakakkaa .. u know, i just i tot i should do a sincere greeting for last son of daddy year .. hihihi ... soon everything will be over for this old pal ... n mommy time will give birth to a newborn baby year, who will later on turn to be a daddy year .... n the family tree grows ... wat a wonderful story .. well, now tat's done .. i guess i'll kick myself outta here ... wakakakkaka .. enjoy peeps .. me out now ~ cheers