au revoir 2005

~ I supposed this will mark my last entry for this year of 2005 ... for reason beyond my own hands .. so i am wondering now what should i write to close yet another chapter of my blunt life .. at least tat's how i would describe it for the last 3 months or so .. hihihi .. it's been pretty quite around here tho .. my best guess is tat people are still celebrating or perhaps lying still on their beds, recovering from too much tequila n booze .. or simply hang overs .. LOL .. hey, tat would be nice, wouldnt it? some liquors n party all nite long .. gosh it's been a while since i had tat ... glorious moments indeed .. hahahaha .. but to be honest, i'm not much of a drinker myself i should say .. in fact i am very very bad when it comes to drinking .. hahahaha .. i could remember back then when i used to rush down to the bathroom with my face looking like a steamed lobster, rest myself on the toilet bowl and literally cracking myself out ... sighs .. after a few shots ... n i seriously mean a few! .. shame on me .. crap .. eniwei, been rewinding back my tots on this year's happenings .. overall, i think i spent 1/2 of it having so much fun n the other half having no fun at all ... HAH! yeah tat's rite .. well, maybe a lil' more on the so-much-fun here n there .. hihihi .. but not much ... dammit! ... then this question pops out in my head: Is there anything different i wish things would have been now? *btw is tat a properly structured question at all?!? neway who cares* ... certainly my life! and i guess it didnt take me long to figure tat one out .. hahahaha .. perhaps i can re-phrase the question .. so how about: If i am given a chance to go back in time and change certain things this year, what would i change? Hmmm ... tick tick tick tick .. still need some time .. tick tick tick tick .. still need some time ... Oh for everyone's sake, I DUNNO! .. so tat's it? is tat the best i can come up with?!? hell yeah .. well prolly i wish i would have paid more attention to those ASP.Net programmings while working on my final year project in school .. coz if i did, i prolly could have landed myself a better job ... sighs .. but other than tat, none .. maybe there are waaaaay too many things i need to change for the better back then .. so many tat i can't even come up with any at all .. *see how crappy i sound* .. but when i come to think of it, i really didnt get myself across many situations involving life-changing decisions let alone having to make any in the first place .. again, maybe i've turned myself into a lunatic by saying these things .. but this is for real man .. is this wat it feels to be in a mid-life crisis .. coz i aint living past mid-life yet! or have i? crap .. but this year is certainly a pivotal point of my life .. besides turning 21 .. hahahahhaa .. it's my first year ever living outta my own hard-earned money ... o yeah to your surprises this shit is for real hommies .. well, kids like me u see have been pampered long enuf by my parents since the day i was born .. everything i need was brought to the table and all i have to do is ask and i shall be given .. well, not everything .. hahahahhahaa .. coz sometimes they decide not to .. since we cant afford it .. LOL .. but i aint saying my parents are rich .. trust me, we are not .. we are kinda half way between the two polars of the human race ... the middle class .. hahahahahhaha ... so yeah, i wish i would have been more independent on my own .. and not being spoon-fed all the time like babies .. i dun even have my own savings or at least a piggy bank let alone a real bank account at the age of 20 .. shame on me again! .. hihihihi .. and this time it's BIG shame on me! ... hahaha .. but i am not blaming my parents for this .. i am sure they have their best intentions when it comes to parenting ... as any other parents ... and i should blame myself instead .. i should have take control of my own life earlier ... which i didn't .. and i kinda regret it now .. the bad news is tat i am still myself even this very second .. crap .. hahahhahahaha .. n i dun think i will change anytime soon ... *see this is the problem of all my problems i'm telling y'all .. the mother of all problems* ... LOL .. so now tat i am standing up on my own feet, i finally know how hard it is to earn a living in this vicious cycle of life .. everyday is work, work, and more work .. and wat's worst is when u dun like ur work .. hahahahaa .. hang on! tat's not it .. the worst thing is when u dun like ur job but u cant quit the job .. yeah tat's more like it now .. hahahahaha .. trust me, never ever get urself into this kind of shit EVER! u can end up like me here .. babbling about useless things and not doing anything about it .. hihihi .. to be honest, i think i am the kind of guy who waits for things to unfold by itself .. as pathetic as it sound, tat is me .. y'all like tat? better not .. and the weirdest part of it is tat i can feel comfortable living like this .. u know waiting n all .. waiting for miracles to happen ... hahhahhahahaa .. does it happen? well, i guess i'll let my life decide on tat .. just kiddin ... hihihi .. i aint gonna live forever .. which means i can only wait so long ... there will come a time when i will have to be a man ... *hahahaha this reminds me of russell peters .. be a man! LOL* .. and start acting like one .. tat's rite, i am waiting for the moment to arrive and strike back .. seize the moment coz sometimes u only have urself one chance to do it all .. as for rite now, i'll let myself be a boxer fighting in the ring with the best fighter of all time, time itself ... and u bet i dun look so good rite now .. coz wat i've been doing so far is taking in punches, punches, n more punches .. there are cuts n bruises all over me ... i tried to punch back but wat i get is more blows to my face .. everytime i try, i fail .. so i didn't fight back ... simply coz i can't .. but i am waiting ... hoping tat it will come .. and if it doesn't, then i'll die waiting ... coz tat's just plain me ... as simple as tat .. hihihihi ... at this stage of my life, i believe i am still a baby just beginning to walk ... i'll fall again n again n again .. making mistakes all over .. but hey, tat's how u learn to survive ... by making more mistakes .. ^^ .. WOW! look how much shit i wrote today man .. hahahahhahahaha .. holy crap .. hihihhi .. so much for a new year's resolution .. wakakakkakaa .. eniwei, tomorrow's back to work again .. and this weekend is new year's eve ... and let me just get this out early before i am gone, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 y'all! hope u guys have a blast wherever u are! and my message to you is Let's Boogie Down! yeeeehaaaaaaaaa .... woop woop ... let's start the count down people! hmmm .. 4 days x 24 hours x 60 minutes x 60 seconds = hmmmm ... 345600 seconds to go starting tonite as the clock strikes 12 midnight here in markham .. woooohoooooo .. have a great one everyone! this year's been an awesome year despite certain things .. LOL .. but we can't help it, can we? but let's start fresh with a clean slate next year shall we? see u guys soon ... if not next year .. wakakkkakakakkaa .. btw this song is for every single one of u out there .. let's dance! peace out .. take care and me out now ~ cheers