the manic's prayers

~ Never confuse fate with coincidence .. up until now, i still can't believe that i've got myself a job ... i am completely astonished with the fact that i am back working 5 days, 40 hours a week once again ... to be honest, i had lost hope by the end of january and was ready to pack my bags and leave ... One day before the interview, i was definitely eager ... tat is eager to get this s**t over with and move on .. coz i did screw my preliminary interview on the phone .. and pretty convinced that this whole motion was just a waste of my time and money .. Nonetheless i did go for the interview .. and things went surprisingly well ... One week training and my boss seemed to be content with my performance ... and here i am now ... still amazed upon this blessing .. or miracle .. or perhaps fate, itself, brought me here .. Alot of things happened in the last month (despite my boring cyle of time) ... good and bad .. which brings about balance in my life ... though i feel the bads tend to favour most of the time .. sighs ... Now that the sea is calm, it gives me time to reflect back in time and understand some of the things which i left behind .. i finally find out why i did get the job ... hehehe .. and this gives me meaning and purpose for me being here .. For once i was so friggin' scared and lost ... one time i felt out of this world and in another i felt the end is coming close ... so close that i can't even begin to describe that feeling ... losing faith is never a good thing .. but it happens all the time .. Yesterday i went to check out "Eight Below" ... alone as usual .. ^^ .. was actually reluctant to spend the money .. but wat the heck .. it's worth killing my time .. hahaha ... and the movie turned out awesome .. yeah yeah yeah ... it kinda gives me that much-needed inspirational boost .. to take chances for the things we care about despite not knowing how things will turn out at the end of the day ... after all, life is a mystery ... but on the contrary it raises the question: How far will you go to realize your dream? ... perhaps the question is: How far CAN you go? i think tat's more like it for me personally ... hihihi .. sometimes you have priorities in life .. things you just have to carry on your shoulders and take responsibilities for these things .. Being a man is knowing where you have to be ... *btw got this phrase from a cartoon show .. believe it or not!* ... and i know that my place is here .. at least for now ... hehehee ... coincidence or fate? i dunno .. but i hope i don't lose heart along this journey of mine .. me out now ~ cheers