wat the heg is wrong wif me?!?

~ Here i go again .. grumbling n whinin' bout me life .. feel very frustrated these few days .. FYI me n si apple gal is on the verge of sumthin' very very big .. n i mean very very very serious .. so we decided to have a break for da mean time .. just to let our heads cool down .. think about the road we've been through .. the road we walked hand in hand all these years .. perhaps this is the hardest block of stone that we ever came across .. hihihi .. sounds funny .. sounds corny .. but tat's the truth .. n i won't lie .. i am not quite sure tat i will be da same again without her by me side .. i mean part of me has grown into her n part of her has grown into me at da same time .. it's been a long road .. filled with all sorts of emotions .. sigh .. it's too sad for it to end here .. but wat the heg is wrong wif me?!? i dunno .. she doesn't know .. i feel like .. tat old spark is fading between me n her .. but tat's not me .. i know it deep down inside .. but this whole thing is all me fault .. there's nothing wrong wif her .. n i know tat .. there's never a question about her feelings for me .. never .. n tat's why it makes me think .. wat have i turned into? wat am i? how can i be tat cruel? i seem to lose me self a'ite .. n at da moment .. i am still searching .. searching for the best solution .. for both of us .. of course .. troubled n lost .. tat's me rite here rite now .. on the other hand .. she's waiting for me .. waiting for me call .. i told her tat i need more time .. but it's just so hard .. staying true to urself is the hardest thing to do when it will just hurt those u love in the end .. the truth is not always pleasant to be quite honest .. sumtimes we just want to get out of this reality .. but we can't .. hixs .. confused a'ite .. plz somebody help me out .. any advice would be much appreciated .. but i know this is me call .. it's about me n her .. i have to decide .. n will decide .. i just need more time .. alrite u peeps .. take care .. me out now ~ cheers